Joanna Gaines might be surprised to learn that she left HGTV and her husband Chip to sell some scammy beauty product. She did though, if you believe the scammers behind Nouveau Beauty Cream. So before we go on, I’ll make it very clear: Joanna Gaines does NOT endorse Nouveau. It is a SCAM that you should avoid if you value your money or your time. Also, Joanna is NOT standing in front of a burning building. I photoshopped that because I thought it was funny for celebrity host of a show called Fixer Upper. Also because there’s a 50% chance that your face will feel like that fire if you use Nouveau Beauty Cream.
Joanna Gaines and her husband Chip are the stars of HGTV’s Fixer Upper. Despite the caption in the screen grab above, which CelebriCHECK pulled from the scam advertisement/article, Joanna is NOT leaving Fixer Upper to start a cosmetics company. She’s especially not quitting to become CEO of Nouveau, which she’s likely never heard of (because it’s a scam).
Reading the text of this scam was really fascinating. It was a tear-jerker of fan fiction prose that liberated Joanna from Fixer Upper to pursue her real dream of selling jars of scam mayo. Scammers tend to believe that adding details helps to sell their crap. To that end, they ended her loving marriage to Chip Gaines so she could focus exclusively on her jars of junk-gunk.
Joanna Gaines says goodbye to husband Chip…
Really? Did you have to wreck a marriage to sell your scam?
You have to admit, Chip is taking it really well. Look at him. Clearly the fact that Joanna is ditching him to pursue a life of scam marketing — scam marketing built on taking advantage of people trying to achieve a synthetic ideal of aging and beauty — hasn’t sunk in.
Actually, the “article” really turns Chip into a hero. He’s fabriquoted as saying:
Clearly, Chip doesn’t realize that he’s getting the heave-ho as well. Bad news Chip, the scammers are writing you out of this fan-fic masterpiece. Joanna doesn’t need you. She has a wall of celebrity women clamoring for her product. Sandra Bullock, Halle Berry, and Sharon Stone all make appearances or offer testiphonials praising Joanna for freeing them from the tyranny of aging with grace.
After that story, our scammer’s creative juices ran out. Their scam cream was probably causing swelling that made it hard to see the keyboard, so they just kept things simple. So simple that fabricating names to go with fabricated quotes was too much work. The result is expert testimonials from people like… Hollywood Dermatologist. If you’re not going to try, just stop.
Nouveau Beauty Cream follows the typical process of creating artificial product scarcity. The “offer” ends the same day as you access the website and you get to watch the countdown last 15 trials get claimed. Ideally, the scammer wants you clicking as fast as you can to get your “risk free trial” and maybe be best friends with Joanna Gaines or Hollywood Dermatologist FOREVER!
That’s not what actually happens. Instead, you surrender your credit card information and get charged $4.95 for shipping. In 45 days, you get charged for your “free trial” at full retail cost. You also get another container of the crap sent to you in the mail and a fresh charge of the full product value on your card. Then you realize you got scammed. You spend the next umpteen months attempting to contact the company to STOP STEALING YOUR MONEY.
In brief – Say NO to Nouveau. DON’T FEED THE SCAMMERS!